Overstimulated Kids

Overstimulated Kids
by Nowen N. Particular

Cellphonomania

There was a time when a child was satisfied with a Fisher-Price toy telephone. He might play with it for hours, imagining that he was talking to Grandma or pretending he was talking with his mom in the other room. It was made out of colorful plastic, made a simple ringing sound when the dial was turned, and had a cord so when the child pulled the phone across the floor a delightful little chime rang.

Times have changed. The original Fisher-Price telephone is now a “vintage” toy for sale on eBay and Fisher-Price has replaced it with fully-digital Elmo and Barney phones, complete with electronic voice and screen activation. Kids don’t have to bother with tedious imaginary phone conversations; now they can enjoy pre-programmed responses - over and over again - without having to exercise their imaginations - isn’t that great?

By first or second grade, kids will outgrow the Barney phone and graduate to the Migo or Firefly phones, cell phones especially marketed to children, with limited minutes and access only to parents and emergency numbers. Soon they will demand the iPhone, basically a hand-held computer that features video, text messaging, digital photography, wireless internet access, and, of course, thousands of onboard songs. By the time a child is eleven years old, he will expect nothing less—or maybe even more.

Age Compression

This phenomenon of introducing children at younger and younger ages to increasingly sophisticated “adult” experiences is called “age compression”. Kids, in general, are maturing faster than ever because of the direct or indirect influence of 24/7 exposure to all forms of media and marketing.

Lauren Weber (Newsday, Feb. 22, 2005) says, “The trend is the subject of a growing debate with some observers fearing that overstimulated kids have lost the ability to create fun on their own.” Maria Weiskott, editor of Playthings Magazine, adds, “Play is the work of childhood, and toys are the tools of that work. We’ve given children advanced tools before they’re ready for them.” Duncan Billings, from Hasbro Toys, says, “[Kids] are exposed to so many things nowadays versus 5-10 years ago. The amount of commercials, media, the frequency their on the Internet at school and at home - we have to be aware of those trends and make sure what we do is age-appropriate, but also exciting.”

Therein lies the problem. As toy makers bombard children with electronic entertainment at earlier and earlier ages, they are forced to escalate the level at which their toys are able to stimulate. Kids get bored faster if the graphics and sound quality aren’t up to the highest standards of complexity and speed. That means packing deeper story options and more “adult” violent action and sexual imagery to grab ahold of children’s weakening attention span.

Consider for a moment, the definition of the “E” rating and the “E10+” rating that appears on video game packaging:

EVERYONE: Titles rated E have content that may be suitable for ages 6 and older. Titles in this category may contain minimal cartoon, fantasy or mild violence and/or infrequent use of mild language.
EVERYONE 10+: Titles rated E10+ (Everyone 10 and older) have content that may be suitable for ages 10 and older. Titles in this category may contain more cartoon, fantasy or mild violence, mild language and/or minimal suggestive themes.

“Mild violence, mild language, and/or minimal suggestive themes.” Are you kidding? Toy manufacturers are inserting these themes into their video games, NOT because they are age appropriate, but because kids won’t play their games unless such content is included. By the time they reach their teenage years, they will be conditioned for high-sex, high-violence games such as “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” ($32 million in sales), a game in which the hero vows to avenge his mother’s murder and restore glory to his neighborhood gang. Players rack up points by gunning down police, committing carjackings, burglarizing homes and dealing in other underworld activities.

Child psychologist, Susan Linn, author of “Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood,” is aware of this darker side. “Research shows babies learn faster from real life than videos. But they’re getting kids to turn to screens from the moment they’re born. It takes away from kids having the experience of learning to amuse themselves.”

Bored Kids Hold Parents Hostage

So, big deal. What’s so bad about kids who can’t play by themselves?

Children figure things out pretty quickly. They learn that Distracted Mom and Overcommitted Dad are willing to do almost anything to keep their kids out of their hair. If they act bored—of if they engage in destructive activity because they are bored—mom and dad will reward their bad behavior by buying something new to keep them entertained.

The system works like this. The child is given a video game console and allowed to play his new game for hours and hours without interruption. The constant repetition quickly results in boredom. The child demands a new game, a better game, a louder game, a more stimulating game. If a simple demand does not move Mom or Dad into action, tantrums, crying, yelling, name calling, breaking things, or fighting with siblings surely will. Mom and Dad give in and buy something new. The child’s bad behavior is reinforced by his parent’s spineless surrender.

In the mind of many modern parents, a child who is bored is the worst possible situation. They are willing to do almost anything to save their poor, unfortunate child from an afternoon of malaise. Whatever it costs, whatever it takes, as long as their child is entertained.

Unfortunately, when this same child gets to school, teachers are forced to deal with rooms full of children who are unable to stimulate themselves. Unmotivated and unwilling to try, they punish the teacher with their boredom. Some teachers dress up in costumes and dance around in front of their classes trying to capture their attention. They introduce videos and electronic teaching games and Internet play and other electronic inducements just so they can keep the students in their seats. But kids are smart. They instinctively know that uncooperation will eventually be rewarded, either by the school or by their indulgent parents.

Gaining Freedom for Overstimulated Kids

In the good old days, parents used to say “No.” It was a magic word. It was a word that meant a child had to accept whatever limitations his Mom or Dad put into place. It was a word that established boundaries. It was a word that trained a child how to cope with a world that would not hand them whatever they wanted on a silver platter. It taught them a golden rule, “If you want something, you have to work for it.”

That same rule applies to having fun. Children learn how to work by learning how to play. It shouldn’t be given to them. They should have to exercise their imaginations and move their bodies. If they want to have fun, they should have to creative and inventive.

So the key that opens the door and sets our children free from the prison of overstimulation is the word “No.” Parents must say, “No, I will not buy you electronic toys. No, I will not buy you video games. No, you cannot watch TV. No, I will not fill your bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of toys. No, I will not be completely responsible for making sure that aren’t bored.”

Instead, parents need to say, “Yes, you may clean your room, wash the dog, vacuum the carpets, mow the lawn...OR...you can think of something to do that will entertain yourself. It’s your choice.” Parents need to say, “Here is paper and string, glue and wood, fabric and thread. Make something.”* Parents need to say, “If you call one of your friends, I will be glad to pick them up so you can play.” Parents need to say, “You will not die of boredom. Think of something to do, or I will think of something for you.”

Children will respond pretty quickly. If they attempt to punish Mom and Dad by being bored, parents must discipline their children by delivering appropriate consequences for their bad behavior. They’ll make the connection almost immediately: If I act bored and whine about it, I won’t like what happens. I can make my own fun, if I work at it a little bit. When they see Mom and Dad consistently encouraging them to make their own fun, they will.

*Need ideas? Read the article, “Make Your Own Fun”. Or go to Nowen’s webpage: Kid’s Stuff: 101 Things for Kids to do.

Copyright 2006 by Nowen N. Particular. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be reproduced without written permission from Nowen N. Particular. Any quotation must be attributed to the author and copyright date and reference made to the name of the article.